Weekly Update

All week I've had a lot of words and a lot of feels.  However, now that I sit down to write...they're all gone!  Typical. 

This week was a very special one.  A sacred event happened and one which I've been privileged to be part of.  After almost one and a half years of fighting pancreatic cancer, Reed's dad peacefully returned to Heavenly Father.  He fought an exceptionally difficult battle and demonstrated to those around him the mental strength and toughness that allowed him to keep going.  Ever since his diagnosis in September of 2013 he has endured a cumulative 8 months of chemotherapy, many rounds of radiation, an intense 8 hour surgery, countless blood draws, complications, and grim setbacks.  But through it all, he never gave up hope and was always appreciative and dignified.  Five weeks ago, Harold was hospitalized for pain, dehydration, and confusion.  They discovered a biliary blockage, infection, small bowel obstruction, pneumonia, etc.  His body was saying it had had enough.  Reed and I were able to be there almost every day watching the care he received and keeping him company.  Even though he was constantly in pain, he didn't complain and was always polite to the nurses.  He always apologized for not being a better host and we would try to reassure him that his job was not to host us in the hospital.  As we were sitting with him in the hospital, I realized that I was witnessing the sacred and intimate process of end-of-life and that Reed and I would not regret a single moment spent in those hospitals.  My thoughts were correct when he was admitted to hospice and within days he was clearly hours away from going back home to heaven.  The entire family was able to say goodbye and be part of his last few days of life.  His wife never left his side even at the expense of her own comfort.  Harold died in the afternoon of Friday the 16th.  I think we can say he won his battle and left us all changed for the better for having known him. 

I'd like to share the thing that comforted me most this week.  The Church Handbook discusses severe illness and prolonging life.  It says "when dying becomes inevitable, it should be seen as a blessing and a purposeful part of eternal existence".   Granted, death leaves behind family and friends who all must process their feelings and memories which is NOT an easy task.  But we would do well to remember that Harold is no longer in pain, he's getting an opportunity to spend some good quality time with the ancestors that he revered, he's talking to Reed's and my future children and warning them about how crazy I am, he's preparing the path for his wife to join him, he's getting to rappel the awesomest cloud formations, and he's completed his earthly mission. 

The first question I am asked whenever people hear what happened is "how is Reed?!".  I do want to thank you all for having such love and concern for Reed.  He feels all of the strength and comfort that is a result of your prayers and thoughts and he knows he is not alone.  Reed is doing remarkably well, all things considered.  He is, of course, sad.  But he has no regrets....nothing was left unsaid, no moment was missed.  He is very aware of the blessings and miracles that have been abundant these past weeks and he is relieved that his dad is no longer in pain and suffering.  Reed's testimony of the Atonement has given him confidence and faith that this separation from his dad is only temporary.  I'm so proud of Reed and everything that he is.  He impressed me with how easily he took on the role of caregiver and how well he performed in that role.  I admired how ready and willing he was to use the priesthood to give his dad and JJ blessings.  His sense of humor kept the mood light and enjoyable even during the hardest days.  It's an honor for me to be Reed's wife. 

I better get going and make my hubby some breakfast....we need our strength for the SEAHAWKS GAME TODAY!  :-)  Thank you all again for your help through all this.  Please continue to pray for Reed and his family.  We love you all!

<3 The Jacobsens